Watch for slow drivers

I won't quibble with people who call me ill-informed. I take some perverse pride in that. But I must admit I've been way behind the 8-ball on this N. Custer island controversy. I started hearing some buzz about it long before they even started installing those pedestrian islands along N. Custer near the city limits. At the time, it seemed like a lot of people thought they were a stupid idea. I thought they were stupid because I always kind of liked to throw a scare into walkers who tried crossing busy N. Custer to get from the burbs on the north to the walking path along the river on the south. Sometimes I'd brake. Sometimes I'd throw it in neutral and rev my motor just to try to scare the doo-doo outta them. Some would panic and run. Some would freeze in their tracks. What fun! I once revved up so loudly,the walker (a guy about 80) bolted for the curb and fell on his face. I was laughing all the way to Grape.
See, the idea of the islands was to give walkers a safe haven halfway as they cross the road in heavy traffic. You don't have to do a 20-yard sprint. You can just go halfway and take a rest and wait for the traffic to clear on the second half of the road. Then sprint a shorter distance.
Well, when people caught wind of it, it was as if someone was going to turn an old graveyard into a subdivision (Oh, I forgot. Somebody already did that).
Anyway, my neighbors tell me somebody started blaming Mayor Al for this scheme. Then they said ex-Mayor John came forward and took the credit/blame for it. It makes sense that someone would try to pin it on Mayor Al, but they probably were confusing it with his old plan to put a median island along Monroe Street in downtown Monroe.
It doesn't really matter whether this is a good or bad idea. Here's what gives me the heebie-jeebies: I was driving down N. Custer the other day and see that the curbs of those islands are all nicked and tire-scuffed. How in THE HELL do you hit one of these things unless you're driving on a moonless night with your lights off? In reverse.
There's the irony of it. They were installed to slow drivers. Instead, they're evidence that Monroe has a lot of SLOW DRIVERS.
Do these people just weave down the road so they need a lane and a half to maneuver? They ought to put a cop car out there and revoke the license of anyone who bounces off these things. Can you imagine what these people must do at those drive-thru car washes? They probably don't go to them because they're not coordinated enough to punch in the purchase code.
Really, people, Matt Milosch on a binge could make it through there without hammering the curbs. Time for somebody to take a refresher driver's ed course! This is scary shit, I'm not kidding.