Pre-election results

Coming off my better than 85 percent prediction success in the primary, I offer these election result predictions, before the polls open.
Yes, tell your friends you heard it here first, but please don't tell them before they cast their ballots. We wouldn't want to influence the outcomes.
Our select races today:
Governor -- JENNIFER GRANHOLM gets the nod. You can call her slick you can call her smooth, but you can't call her as plastic and insincere as Dick DeVos. Again, even diehard Republicans don't seem to like this guy.
US House -- JOHN DINGELL (yeah, I know, it's a no-brainer).
US Senate -- DEBBIE STABENOW largely because incumbency will be unbeatable in a year when the Republicans suffer a little Bush backlash.
State Senate -- RANDY RICHARDVILLE, who's smart enough to be a Republican moderate that really does work well with creatures of both parties.
State House 56th -- JOHN MANOR in a close call that has nothing to do with his suitability for office but everything to do with how much money the GOP has poured into his campaign and how closely he's aligned himself with Richardville, and the fact that he already run and lost once.
State House 55th -- KATHY ANGERER and it won't be as close as some might think. No one has worked harder on constituent relations while in office and besides, she's not a Republican.
County Commissioner races:
Dist. 1 -- Henry Lievens because a lot of people, including herself, think Judy Heath is a little crazy, but aren't we all.
Dist. 2 -- DALE ZORN because he's as popular as the Ida Christmas lights festival or whatever the hell they call it.
Dist. 4 -- FLOREINE MENTEL because she doesn't have any serious competition and the district gets what it deserves and because everyone knows she's a little bit crazy, just like her constituents.
Dist. 5 -- WILLIAM SISK because abusing your county cell phone is a lot more palatable than taking kickbacks.
Dist. 6 -- JERRY OLEY because even though his name is one letter away from Foley, people will trust him more than they would trust a lawyer.
Dist. 7 -- RANDY ANSEL because even though Fowler might be a better candidate, he didn't campaign as hard.

BONUS PICKS
Prop. 1 - Conservation funding guarantees will pass overwhelmingly because any other outcome just wouldn't be fair.
Prop. 2 - It will pass because Michigan isn't really 1950s Mississippi.
Prop. 3 - It should pass because mourning doves are slob birds that raid other birds nests and are about as far removed from the dove of peace as that guy in North Korea. But it won't pass because people can't think of killing an innocent fat bird that just craps all over the place and is grossly overpopulated.
Prop. 4 -- It will pass because somehow people think it will prevent the taking of land in Erie for a railyard, which it won't.
Prop. 5 - It will not pass because people think it's some sort of money grab by the school establishment, which it's not.

Vote, or don't complain.